Ramblings

Lost

2011-09-27T13:16:00.000-07:00

This has to be the hardest thing I have ever had to face. I lost my husband Sept 10, 2011 while he was working out of state. He had a massive heart attack. I don't know how to get on with my life without him. I am so lost. For the past couple weeks it has felt like he was just at work sometimes as long as I didn't think about what it all meant. He worked in the oilfield 14 and 14. Now I am realizing he isn't coming home. My heart is so broke. I feel broken. I feel like my light has been turn out.

I thought maybe writing about it might help me. So I am going to try and start blogging.

Clayton was my best friend. We did everything together. We bought this house Dec. 29, 2010 on foreclosure and have worked so hard on it. I worked on it everyday while he was at work and we both worked on it everyday on his days off. We finally got it were we could move into and finish it. We moved in July 29, 2011. He worked so hard on this house. We didn't get it finished, but when I look around I see how hard he worked on it. He wouldn't take a break.

It scares me to think he wont be coming home. We would have been married 11 years Nov. 7, 2011 and it was the best years of my life. I loved that man so very much. I was so lucky to have him in my life for a short time. It feels like I have always had him in my life. He was my soul mate. There will never be another one like him. Both of us had been married 2 other times before and like they say "3rd times the charms". We finally got it right.

For the past couple weeks I have keep my brain so busy busy just to keep from thinking. I have spent hours online, reading, searching, playing games, anything to keep me busy. I love sweepstakes and couponing so I have done alot of that kind of stuff. I don't sleep. I don't eat. I got bronchitis the day after we buried him and it got it really bad and still not over it. I don't go to bed till 3am -6am and then cry for hours and finally get a couple hours sleep. It's like my life has no meaning right now.

Yesterday was my birthday and I spent the day picking up the Death Certificates from the funeral home and delivering them to companies that needed them for loans and paying a couple bills. What a way to spend your birthday. I even deleted my birthday from Facebook the day before because I just wanted to forget it. But I still ended up with tons of Birthday wishes on Facebook and text messages. I have had such a great support group thru all of this. But I know they will have to eventually get on with their lives.

I have a 15 yr old daughter that lives with me (Clayton's step daughter) and it hurt her so much to loose him too. But she is so worried about me so I try not to cry in front of her to much. I make a sound and she is right here checking on me and all I wanted was to be left alone. But when then it hurts her if I send her away, so this has been hard. All I want to do is just start screaming and throwing a tantrum.

I homeschool my daughter and haven't done any of that in a couple weeks. I know I am going to have to get myself together and start schooling her again. Clayton was so anal about that, I told her he would haunt me if I didn't. But it's so hard to get started again. I'm not ready.

I am going to try and keep my blog up to date but no promises. I think I am going to make a couple different thread on my sweepstakes winnings and coupons.

Till then...

Social Spark

2011-09-20T16:32:00.000-07:00

Get paid to read emails

2010-07-16T23:01:00.001-07:00

Win a free IPOD Nano from familyboundmom

2010-07-13T20:47:00.000-07:00

familyboundmom is giving away a 16gb IPOD Nano. One entry for each RT! See details here: http://tinyurl.com/24ou77o

Giveaway Monday and Review: brHomemade Fun!

2010-06-19T06:18:00.000-07:00

Giveaway Monday and Review: brHomemade Fun!

The HCG Diet

2010-04-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

I have been reading alot lately about the hcg diet. I was able to read the book that was written about it by the doctor that discovered the hcg for dieting back in 1971. It really made alot of sense.

I found a group on facebook that I just love (hcg.com) There are thousands of people on the group that have had wonderful results. I know it is a very hard diet to follow, but it you want the results you can do it. I need to loose 60 pounds. You can stay on the diet for 45 days and then have to take a 6 week break and if you need to loose more you can go back on it. I mean, 45 days, a month and half. That is not that long. I think I can do that for that long.

I am seriously thinking about doing this diet. I have to figure out when the best time to start would be. I would want to start right after my husband leaves for work so that I don't have to cook big meals or worry about him wanting to go out to eat all the time the first couple weeks. I will have time to get adjusted to the diet before he gets back home.

I will let you know when I decide to do it and will keep everyone posted on the results.

Home-schooling a high-schooler

2010-04-16T19:35:00.000-07:00

After a month of spending hours on the computer ever day reading and searching post and forums on high school curriculum, I have finally decided on what I am going to do.

I am using a mix. I have already started buying and ordering all the books. I am still searching for a good photography course as an elective since she is asking for that one.

I'm using the following:
Bob Jones for English I
Around the world in 180 days for World Geography
Apologia for Physical Science
Teaching Textbooks for Algebra I
Consumer Math as an Elective
Different books for Bible

I still need to sit down and start working on a schedule. My husband works in the oil field and his schedule is 14 days away and 14 days at home. When he is home, we spend a lot of time at the lake fishing and camping at our camper that is set up in a campground year round on Lake Tawakoni. Plus we ride our motorcycles a lot. So after sitting down with my daughter we have decided we are going to do year round school where we can take breaks when we need or want to like around the holidays. We also decided that we would have a heavy schedule on the 2 weeks my husband was away at work and have an easy/light schedule on the 2 weeks he is home.

Home-schooling my daughter

2010-04-16T19:11:00.000-07:00

I home-schooled my daughter Bree in the 6th grade. That didn't go to well. She got bored, and wanted to argue with me all the time about school. I heard "I know" so many times it wasn't even funny, but the funny part was that she didn't know. Then there was the fact she couldn't work on school work by herself. Every time I got up from the table to do dishes, wash clothes etc, she always needed help. It was a mutual decision that she went back to public school the next year. But I will say she still remembers all the stuff she learned while being home-schooled.

She went thru a lot of personal stuff this year, and public school just wasn't working out, there was a lot of bullying going on and she started begging me at the first of this year to please home-school her again. I wouldn't give in. Then about a month ago, I was taking her to school and she was crying, asking me again to please home-school her. She made a comment that did it. She said, "Mom, I don't know how much more they expect me to take before I break." I cried all the way home. I talked it over with my husband and we sat down and wrote out a contract for her to sign. I had stipulations if I was going to do it. I took her out of school the next day.

She knows what she is getting into this time, and knows what will be expected and looking forward to it.

My Free Book Arrived Today

2010-04-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

My free books came in the mail today. I can't wait to finish reading the first one I started the other day. I have to turn my review in on that one on May 3rd, the day it is released.

Free Books

2010-04-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Today my daughter told me about a website called BookSneeze that sends you a complimentary copy of a book to review. Basically you read it and then write a review on your blog that is linked to BookSneeze and you also post the review on a sellers site (barnes&nobel, amazon, etc).

My daughter signed up for it first and was impressed with it. I got signed up, requested my first book. They gave me some of the first pages to read while I wait for my book to arrive. After reading part of it, I can't wait for the book to get here.

I will be posting my reviews on here after each book.

Book Reviews

2010-04-08T14:42:00.000-07:00